I am a kraken fighter, obviously. I fight krakens, yes, that's what I primarily do. And with krakens - true story - it's most important to confuse them. Once that is done you need something big and pointy, like a spear, and you stick it up its.. ughm, face. And the most difficult thing, of course, is to find a spear in 21-century America. None o'that stuff, I tell ya. Ye-e-ah, once I had troubles with the authorities for stealing a spear from a museum in Washington, forgot the name. The natural history one with big pillars. Yeah, I am a wanted man, baby. Wanted, thought, primarily in the kraken community of Chicago. They even have these posters all around the city. ME wanted: dead or dead. And a reward in krakenollars. The portrait, of course does not do justice to my handsomeness, but that's understandable. Have you seen a good kraken painter? Harder to come by than a spear, mind you. And, obviously, iPhone doesn't do a great job when you are trying to tentacle it. So, anyway, the image is beyond recognition by a sane conscious being, so I am safe for now. And besides krakens are writing using invisible ink and haven't found a way of making it visible yet.